is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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