It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
