We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
