I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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