dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
What changed your mind?
Being sober
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I'm just crazy horny about you
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
