Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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