just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
