Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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