I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
