how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
