Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Will exercising make me less horny?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
