I just saw a hot homeless man
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
