I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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