so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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