Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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