we're chasing vodka with high fives
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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