The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
