toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
