He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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