it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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