So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
