wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize