I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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