the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
