I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize