Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
