I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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