I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I'm both gender and math confused
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize