i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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