She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
