just come out here and I will go home with you...
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Girls should come with a carfax report
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
