Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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