How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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