i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
