Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
