my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
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