I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Randomize
