i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
My day in three words: secret purse cake
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
and you fell through a lawn chair
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
