i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Do you remember whose house we're in?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
