He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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