i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
