Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
how does that bad decision feel?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
