Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
