i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
my being single is dangerous.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize