hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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