I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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