Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
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