Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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