The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
