We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
