Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
