She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
