i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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