OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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