No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize