"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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