I cannot find my penis.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
