Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize