doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
