fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
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