i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
