I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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