I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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