So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
