so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
She told me I should be a condom model.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
did you just send me my own nude
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
