have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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