How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
