I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
