how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
handjob tips. give me some.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
