do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
