what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Randomize
