Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
