you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize