Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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