You work out of a Hotel?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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